


Careless

by arlesanna



Category: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-28
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-03-15 14:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3449912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arlesanna/pseuds/arlesanna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Making her big exit in front of a crowd of paparazzi was quite careless of Andy. Now her and Miranda are all over page 6 and the whole world thinks they are involved. How will they handle the aftermath, especially since the news about Miranda's divorce is about to be revealed? AU from the fountain moment in the film.</p><p>UPD: Chapter 5 added.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. In which page 6 breaks loose.

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Don't own DWP or anything related, just out to play ;)
> 
> Please, R&R if you like it - I thrive on the comments and update faster if people like it))
> 
> ps. I know I'm a baby, please indulge me.

"Oh my God!" Doug exclaimed, shaking his head incredulously. Andrea sighed internally, settling down next to her in a small cafe near the skyscraper offices where Doug worked.

"What is it?"

"What is it? Are you fucking serious? Tell me more!"

"Tell you what exactly?"

Andrea couldn't help being short with her friend. In the last two days her life had been turned upside down. She had lost her job, her boyfriend, her almost-friend (it was quite difficult to picture Emily as a real friend) and most-importantly her self-respect. Well, the last one she had tried to get back but it was still lingering on the border between non-existent and merely there. Also she believed she had lost her future career. And Miranda. That too. The woman was a constant presence in her life for almost a year now and it was surreal to actually be her own person. It's been two days and Andrea felt exceptionally weird. She found she missed the Editor in Chief terribly and the thought appalled her, as it was obviously a manifestation of Stockholm syndrome. There were a lot of things to admire about Miranda Priestly - her unassailable style and beauty, the way the air shifted in the room whenever she walked in, the grandeur she brought to anything she was engaged in, the sarcasm that she reigned so freely, and especially the indifference towards the opinion of others, the confidence and ambition, the drive, the energy about her. But being her assistant had truly been a fucked up job. If it hadn't been for Nigel's friendship, Emily's tolerance and Andy's own desire to prove worthy, she wouldn't have lasted as long as she did. And now she regretted even that, having betrayed Emily and having watched Miranda betray Nigel. She hated that she had to see that - Miranda had truly disappointed her. Somehow in spite of the woman's bitchiness Andy had developed a deep affection towards the stern Editor and seeing her stoop so low was painful, almost as painful as realising she herself was no better.

"A lot of fucked up shit went on in Paris, so forgive me if I'm not too chipper this morning" Andy groaned and took a big gulp of her latte.

"Oh I know!" Doug was weirdly giggly and Andy felt coldness creeping up her spine.

"Out with it." The ling in his eye was truly scaring her. "Now!"

"Oh I see some of the Ice Queen style rubbed off on you." He teased and opened the morning post on page six.

Andy closed her eyes.

Andy opened her eyes.

It was still there.

The article was huge. As i HUGE. And the photos were huge.

The huge headline said:

**Miranda Priestly is out of the closet having a lover's quarrel with her female assistant in Paris!**

Andy grabbed the paper and started reading. From then it got even worse.

"There have been speculation, but who could have thought that the impeccable Miranda Priestly who is we remind you currently married has her own dirty little secret? Little as in young - the assistant in question is only 25. However, it looks like this time the Ice Queen lost some of the control she is famous for - with her young lover storming out of the car at the Place de Concord and throwing her phone in the fountain! Surely that can't have been about the job, or not the kind of job that is appropriate to talk about in public…."

Andy stopped reading and murmured to herself: "this is vicious…" There was a huge photo of Miranda, looking over her shoulders with a controlled, but clearly unhappy expression and a huge shot of herself, throwing the phone into the fountain. "Oh my God…" For a split second Andy forgot she wasn't alone.

"What's this about Andy?"

"What?" she jumped and stared at him.

"Is it true?" Doug seemed to be serious.

"What?! Of course it's not true! Why would you ask me that?!" Andy knew he was not the person to be furious with, but she couldn't help it. Lately the amount of daftness and the extent to which her so-called friends didn't really know her was astonishing.

"I mean… You do kind of have a crush on her and you did throw your phone in the fountain. Seems pretty personal to me."

"Well duh! First of all everybody has a crush on her. It's unavoidable. It's like part of the job ok? And secondly - yeah, i did throw the fucking phone into the fucking fountain and you know why? I just couldn't take it anymore. All of it. The job, the unfairness, the deceit, the Miranda ways! I was fed up." Another bug gulp of coffee and she was not feeling better at all. "I need something sweet."

"You know that was really stupid of you?" Doug's voice followed her to the counter.

"One piece of triple chocolate cake please." Andy turned to face him."I know, ok? I know my career in this city might not even start now after all that! But you don't get it, do you? It just got too intense. I didn't feel like I was myself, like I was living my own life anymore." They made their way back to their table as Andy dug into the cake.

"The night before that she told me about her impending divorce and I felt like I just wanted to hug her and make it all go away. This is so fucked up. Taking care of her had been my job for too long, it's like I felt she was family or something." the cake was disappearing fast. "I don't need this. It's an illusion, it's weird, I get all those feelings… I had a one night stand with an awesome guy. An amazing guy. Very handsome."

"What? Do you mean you and Nate are over?" Doug had a hard time digesting.

"Of course we're over! Do you know what he told me? He told me that the person whose calls I always take, namely the infamous Miranda Priestly is the person I am in a relationship with. And you know what? He was right. The woman just grabs you, the normal person, and makes you love her and then just enjoys walking all over you and then ultimately betrays you whenever you stand in the way of something she wants. It's just wrong."

"Andy?"

She was still busy, stuffing the chocolate cake in her mouth.

"I'm lost between a one night stand with a random guy and loving Miranda Priestly. You did say the word love."

"An awesome guy, Doug! He was an awesome guy. He took me out on a perfect romantic night in Paris and it was wonderful. It was the best time I've had in years! But guess what? As soon as I found out he was involved in the plot against Miranda I ran out of his room half-dressed, never looked back, hated him instantly and I ran like a fucking puppy to lick her boots and try to warn her just to be kicked aside like said annoying puppy because of course she already knew and had a plan and I was just stupid."

"You lost me."

"I'm sorry, that's too much information." Andy looked him in the eye and tried to relax.

"You did say you love her."

"Well, I suppose I do… In a way. In a twisted weird way."

"Like in a lesbian twisted weird way?" Doug's famous chuckle was back and Andy allowed herself a little laugh:

"Shut up! No!"

"No? Really? Do you want to tell me that if the gorgeous La Priestly asked you to fuck her you would say no?"

"Are you kidding? Who am I to say "no" to the Queen?!" This time they shared a real laugh.

"God." Andy looked at the paper again. "I should really get in touch with Emily. Everyone must be going crazy over there."

"Didn't you mention the impending divorce? I bet you'll get to be the other woman!"

"Oh shit."


	2. In which Andy has no choice (once again)

"Good afternoon, Miranda Priestly's office."

"Hi Emily, it's me, Andy, I…"

"Oh my god. Get in here! Now!" Emily shrieked so loudly, that Andy had to move the phone away from her ear.

"Emily, I don't know if…"

"Didn't you hear me?! I said get in here right now! I've been trying to call you all day and I will be fired if you don't show up here like right now! Do you have any idea…"

Andy sighed. Some things never changed: even though it was her face all over page 6 it was still all about Emily somehow.

"Ok, Em, I'll come over. This is so crazy."

"You are crazy. Period. And wear a hat or a scarf or something! You know, be discreet? I mean seriously please just try not to make a show out of it, would you?"

Andrea smiled to herself sarcastically: "Got it. Bye now."

Half an hour later she got out of a cab and entered Elias Clark. As soon as she stepped through the large glass doors the craziness began. A young very attractive brunette all but grabbed her:

"Hello, Andrea, my name is Katrina, please follow me."

"I know where the elevator is" Andy mumbled under her breath, but the brunette paid no attention. She walked her to the elevator, calling someone with a short "She's here." Andy caught herself admiring Katrina's haircut which was a short pixie with a long bangs to the side. She looked incredibly stylish and had a french air about her.

Soon enough Andy released they were not going to the main offices - they exited at the third floor and soon Andy found herself in a large conference room. Katrina sat down and blatantly ignored her: Andy chose to do the same. In about two minutes a hurricane of a woman whirled into the room.

"Hello, I'm Leslie, nice to meet you, Andrea."

Andy shook the extended hand and answered out of habit: "You can call me Andy."

"All right, Andy." The woman sat down on the head chair and leaned back, studying her. "I have to tell you this is quite a mess we're in now."

In spite of her words Leslie was smiling as if she was somehow enjoying the situation. Two guys entered the room and Andy was surprised to find they didn't look gay at all. 'Wonders at Runway never cease' she thought, gripping the armrests of her chair. She shot another look at Leslie and decided that she definitely liked the woman. First of all she wasn't freakishly tall, secondly she was not a size 2 - a solid four. Leslie was in her late thirties and looked dashing with her bush of seemingly unruly curly hair, piercing green eyes with a twinkle and glowing tanned skin. 'She looks like a glamorous surfer girl' Andy thought and chuckled at that: Head of PR at Elias Clark must be a shark that eats surfer girls for breakfast, talk about deceiving looks.

Suddenly Andy noticed the silence that fell in the room and realised she was supposed to say something.

"Er… Yes, I know. I'm sorry if…"

"Oh, it's too late for that." Leslie smiled at her again, juts as charmingly as before. "Lets get down to business."

"Ok."

"I have already spoken to Miranda and we have her version of events - now we would like to hear yours."

A Dictaphone was turned on by Katrina as the girl said:

"Interview with Andrea Sachs with regards to Paris lesbian crisis on April 23rd 2006, 1 pm."

Andy couldn't help but shoot her an incredulous look:

"Are you seriously calling it Paris lesbian crisis?"

Katrina didn't bat an eyelash: "Well isn't it?"

Andy didn't really have anything to say to that.

"Andy, please tell us in your own words, what happened, leading up and during the incident."

"Ok." Andy recited the events as factually as possible, explaining the betrayal of Nigel and her deciding to quit. "And then I just felt I had to stop. So I got out of the car, walked away. Then my phone rang - it was Miranda calling. I didn't pick up. Instead, I threw the phone into the fountain, and headed off. Went to my hotel room, collected my things, got myself a ticket back to New York. Spent last night at my friend's. Read this morning's paper. Called Emily. And now I'm here."

"Hm…" Leslie studied her carefully: "Let's go back a bit. What exactly was the reasoning for your decision to quit?"

"It's hard to explain… I felt like I was losing myself to the job, It was all too intense. I just knew I had to do it." Andrea tried to explain, but Leslie just shook her head.

"Couldn't you quit like a normal person, Andy? Give a two-weeks notice? Why did you have to make such a big exit?"

"I didn't have to!" Andy cried, cursing her own stupidity. "I just did, I had all this feelings and I just…"

"Feelings? Lesbian feelings?"

"What?" Andy stared at Leslie in shock. "No! Not lesbian feelings! I was angry and confused and disappointed and angry and… I'm sorry, ok, it's not like I meant for all this to happen!" Andy began to feel trapped in this huge room with three silent people and ever-smiling Leslie.

"I'm sorry if this makes you uncomfortable Andy, you don't have to answer the questions you don't want to answer, ok? We're just trying to get to the bottom of this." this time Leslie's smile was reassuring and Andy felt a bit better.

"Are you having an affair with your boss Miranda Priestly?" Leslie asked the next question and added: "I'm sorry I have to ask just in case."

"No, I'm not. the relationship is purely professional."

"Great. Now how would you describe your actions? Running away and throwing your phone into the fountain - that's a lot of anger, Andy."

"I'd say that it was an overworked, tired, pissed off and confused personal assistant deciding that this job that a million girls would die for is not worth it and let them have it and being fed up with the whole thing and just running away from it. That's how I felt." Andy knew she was stepping a bit over the line, but she couldn't help herself.

To her surprise Leslie laughed softly: "Honestly Andy, I'm surprised that a person as outspoken as you are lasted 8 months at that job."

"I had to shut myself up a lot." Andy confessed. "Like all the time. Honestly, I felt like I was going crazy from all the things I didn't say out loud. It was like a constant buzz in my head."

"Ok" Leslie laughed even more. It was weird since she was the only one laughing in the room - the other three people including Katrina didn't even crack a smile, "I like you. Surprisingly. Although please refrain from repeating any of the above to the press, a lot falls under the NDA and you could be easily sued."

"I'm not planning on talking to the press!" Andy's eyes widened. "Really, I don't want to cause more trouble then I already have."

"Oh, but you will have to." Leslie said softly. "Please understand that you made this whole crisis happen and now you will have to help us fix it."

Andy heard someone chuckle. 'Thank god' she thought, 'they are alive'. However Leslie wasn't as happy as she was:

"Something funny, Derek? You find this situation amusing?"

One of the guys paled considerably and Andy realised that the cool, smiling surfer Leslie was gone - the woman talking to Derek was very Miranda-like.

"No, Leslie, I…" he stammered and she stared him down immediately.

"Keep your explanations to yourself please: the only thing that interests me now is the strategy of how we're going to get out of this, am I being clear?" Her green eyes were shooting flames and Andy shivered at the pregnant silence in the room.

"Yes, Leslie." He said quietly, getting back to making notes.

Leslie turned to Andrea once again, shaking the anger off and getting back to her surfer self. "Sorry Andrea. The thing is: you don't have to be here: you quit, your employment has been terminated yesterday. You can just go home and try to forget about this."

"Can I really?" Andy eyes her suspiciously.

"Not really, no." Leslie shrugged and continued: "We will work out an angle and the strategy of how we will handle this. If you choose to… participate, you will be included in the decision-making process and you will have our help with all the interviews and the paparazzi. If you decide to leave now, you will be on your own."

Andy swallowed. Being on her own was what she was going for after all.

"I think I'd rather not be involved. I don't see how I can help."

Leslie's smile faded and Andy prepared herself for the woman going ballistic on her this time. 'Anyway', she told herself, 'i don't own them anything anymore.' Deep inside she knew she was wrong - after all she was responsible for the situation, but the desire to get away from Elias Clark, the Runway, this whole world and especially Miranda Priestly, was too great.

"Well you're free to go." Leslie said, instead of yelling at her. "Be careful, there will be paparazzi at your house - they've been waiting since 6am this morning."

Andy just stared at her.

"I'm sorry? At my house you said?"

Leslie played with her curls and shot Andy an innocent look: "Well yes. You and Miranda are the biggest news in town so there are certain… perks, you know."

"Your sarcasm is not helping." The retort at least made Andy happy. She realised she didn't have to micromanage her every word now and it was liberating. The thought of paparazzi following her around wasn't as liberating though.

"Also, I suppose you'd be looking for a new job." Leslie continued calmly, "which may also prove difficult under the circumstances."

"I see." Andy realised now this was not as simple as she'd hoped. "And if I… cooperate… would you see to that it would be easier?" she couldn't believe she was about to play this game, but there didn't seem to be a choice. Having no choice was something she had run away from two days ago and it got her into this. Great, just great.

"Of course!" Leslie beamed, encouraging her line of thought. "We will also take it upon ourselves to provide you with comfort and protection, as well as the statements etc. We will represent you and Miranda fully."

"Great." Andy's tone was as unenthusiastic as ever, but Leslie choose to ignore it:

"Great! Now moving on to business. We have twenty minutes until the conference call with Miranda. Get to work people, get me some fresh ideas! Andy, could you wait outside please?"

"Sure." Andy got up, heading for the door.

"Just try not to run into Emily." Leslie warned her with a chuckle. "We can handle the media and all, but she is fierce."

"Oh, I know!" Andrea laughed. "I'll try to avoid being beaten to death with a crutch - that is bad PR after all." She winked at Leslie and left the room.

This was going to suck.


	3. In which it gets worse (obviously)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Thank you thank you thank you all so much! The reviews and all the favourites and people following the story totally made my day! Really, you are all awesome, amazing human beings! This is my first Mirandy story and I really needed that encouragement. (I still need it tho so please review if you have a minute - it makes me extremely happy when somebody tells me they loved a certain idea of phrase or something. I squeal. Literally. Out loud.)
> 
> Now I feel like I have to clarify a couple of things:
> 
> First of all Andy and Miranda are not in love yet! This is a straight follow-up from the movie and in this story there's no assumption that Miranda is secretly in love or Andy is. (Personally I don't like this assumption and I don't believe it. They both have no idea who the other is as a person yet so I don't think they can be in love. Yet. They will fall in love, promise.)
> 
> Nevertheless, Andy does have a crush which she admits to earlier in Chapter 1. But. It's an admiration crush like many of us get, not the unceasing longing to move into the townhouse and be a parent to two girls and Patricia.
> 
> All in all, M and A are in for a ride with the press and some other stuff thrown their way and I hope you join them and me and enjoy the ride too.
> 
> And this is officially the longest A/N you'll see.
> 
> Thank you all once again, you have been truly wonderful.  
> A.

Andy knew 20 minutes was not much, so going up to see Emily was out of the question. Not that it was ever in question given the state the First assistant must be in. If there was someone who could understand Andy it was definitely not Emily. Andy decided to use the time to speak to Nigel - she was reluctant calling him before as she knew how embarrassed and upset he was, but it had been two days so maybe it was time.

Before she could dial him her phone buzzed with a message from Doug:

"It's all over the internet. And it looks like you were replaced."

Andy frantically opened her browser and prepared to search google, when she saw it in top news:

"Ice queen fashionista: not melting over the broken heart as her alleged lover and assistant leaves her in Paris."

She clicked the link and began reading:

_"Really and truly the fountain run of the young and coming Andrea Sachs will be etched in our memory forever along with the shocked expression of her boss Miranda Priestly's ever poised face. The shock was replaced with icy stare seconds later, but Ms Sachs sudden departure sure didn't go unnoticed. So maybe the Ice Queen does have a heart after all? Anonymous sources tell us that there's enough speculation about the nature of the relationship with two women to fuel the non-ceasing rumours of the affair. The not so gracious but surely statement-making exit that miss Sachs made has left The Miranda Priestly in quite a jam, but it wasn't long before the doe-eyed all-american girl was replaced. In a personal assistant capacity that is of course. So exhale, fashion-lovers, your precious hate-her-so-much-you-love-her Dragon lady is safe in the hands of 26 year old french native Claude Garre who has stepped in to replace the runaway Runway assistant and it seems like this transition may be for the best as he seems quite confident in the interview he gave this morning:_

_"I am very happy to announce that from this day on I will be handling Miranda Priestly's personal affairs. As they say: a million girls would kill for this job . Well, I'm the guy who got it and I am here to stay. That's all."_

_He even used Miranda's signature "that's all" move! Cheeky! Good luck, Claude, we've all heard there's no job tougher then trying to please La Priestly._

_Now the main question remains: what happened two days ago at The place de Concorde? Who dumped who and who's to blame? Keep tuned to our latest scoop on this story."_

Andy felt a wave of relief wash over her: in spite of everyone being sure she and Miranda were lovers there was at least one positive news in this - Miranda hired a new assistant and isn't stranded alone in Paris during the busiest time of the year. One less thing to be sorry for on Andy's part.

"Andrea, please come in." Katrina's voice startled Andy, but it was nothing compared to the effect her following words had: "Miranda will be on the line in 3 minutes."

Miranda was on the line in 2 minutes and was not as horrible as Andy had imagined. It was way worse.

Andy thanked heavens that it was only a phone call with no video connection. Seeing the rage written all over Miranda's face wasn't her choice of feature at any time. However, Miranda managed to express the vast array of her emotions with her voice as she seethed:

"Is she there?"

Andy could bet the phone in her hands froze over, this was the iciest she has ever heard her boss in 8 months and knowing Miranda that was saying something.

"Yes, Miranda, she is." Leslie sounded warm, not at all intimidated by the editor's tone. "Andrea was kind enough to agree to work **with** us to resolve the situation."

There was a slight warning in PR manager's tone, and combined with an emphasis on the word "with us" it told Andy all she needed to know: they required her help on this. And right now Leslie was not so subtly hinting to Miranda that she should play nice. The thought almost made Andy snort. Almost, because she knew that while she had some leverage, she was still the one to blame for the whole debacle.

"Oh, she was." Miranda's tone dropped several degrees lower if that was at all possible and Andy shivered. "How generous of her. Send her my regards."

"I am in the room, Miranda." Andrea uttered before she could stop herself. "And I just want to say I'm so sorry, I didn't think…"

"Precisely." One short word from Miranda did a great job of shutting Andy up. "Leslie, update?"

"Miranda the question is: are we going with the lesbian theme or not?"

The silence on the other end was so thick one could cut it with a knife. Andy felt like she was Alice in the weirdoland.

"I'm sorry, what?" She butt in and as no comment from Miranda came Leslie continued.

"Miranda, I'm serious. I think we should probably look into this."

Finally, the silence on the other end broke.

"You think? Are you really trying to tell me there's any thinking going on when you can't follow a simple instruction to kill the story? Is that too much to ask of the PR department?" Miranda's voice was dripping with poison, but Leslie stood her ground.

"Actually yes, Miranda, it's too much to ask. You know why? It's fun! It's sexy! ! It's fresh! A young girl storming out of your car and throwing her phone in the fountain! You looking over your shoulder in a gorgeous gown! It's like the new breakfast at Tiffany's only juicier. People love it! It's all over the internet, it's trending on twitter, it's the talk of the town! It's not some boring Ice Queen and sad Mr Priestly drama - this shit is tasty and people want more of it. The phone wouldn't stop ringing. Tv shows, newspapers, magazines, you name it. We can't kill it, but we can ride the wave."

"And by riding the wave you mean admitting to cheating on my husband with an employee half my age?" the sarcasm was palpable, and once again ignored by Leslie. Andy felt like she could marry the curly woman any time of the day.

"The news of your divorce will break in several days: and we need to find an angle. And trust me that you being in a passionate ride of a relationship with your hot young assistant is way better a story then you driving another Mr Priestly away because you're too busy to make time for him. Not to mention no one will even believe that now after all this."

"No kidding."

Andy stared at the intercom in shock. She couldn't believe Miranda had just spoken in normal english, like a normal person. This was a whole new world.

Leslie chuckled: "I know, right. Breathe Miranda, it is what it is. Lets try and use it to our advantage."

"Is there one?" Andy could swear she heard Miranda chuckle as well, but it was to surreal to be true. Miranda Priestly didn't chuckle. Ever.

"Of course - lesbians are hot. That's our angle." Leslie beamed. "And before you mention all the sexual harassment and inappropriate work ethics - we have it figured out."

"I'm listening." Miranda's voice was tamer now, as Andy's heart went into overdrive. She couldn't be seriously considering… No way.

"Feelings." Leslie all but purred at the intercom. "We'll talk feelings, not actions! It was actually Andy's idea."

"What?! I…" Andy jumped in indignation.

"Didn't you say you quit because of all the "feelings"?" Oh, that fake surfer girl Leslie smile was a menace. Andy decided that the conversation had gone on without her long enough.

"I. Meant. Angry. Feelings." She was boiling with anger at this point so it was not hard to put some strength into her voice.

"Oh honey, we know. But all that anger… It's easy to read into it as being fuelled by some other kind of feelings, isn't it?"

"No it isn't! And please, Leslie, all due respect but don't call me honey, I've had enough of the demeaning attitude over the last 8 month thank you very much." Andy tried to contain herself but the whole thing was getting out of hand. Leslie only smiled sweetly at her outburst:

"Of course Andrea, please don't take it personally. I'm only talking the representation of the situation, not the real meaning behind it."

"I know, but…" Andy didn't get to finish as a cool voice from the intercom filled the room.

"As exiting as this… idle chatter is I would like to hear a rational suggestion in the next 10 minutes."

"Yes, Miranda, of course." Leslie shot Andy a deadly stare. The way this woman went from hot to cold was truly astonishing. Andy caught herself thinking she should practice it in front of the mirror at home someday. "Derek, begin please." Leslie nodded at the dark-haired guy and he began speaking.

"The idea is to disclose that over the time Andrea worked for you at Elias Clark you both have developed mutual feelings. Andrea was drawn to you because of your intellect, power and gorgeous looks."

He was obviously uncomfortable, but continued talking with a slight stammer under Leslie's unyielding gaze. Andy would have felt kind of sorry for him if not for the wave of indignation rising inside of her.

"And you were attracted by her kindness, youth, diligence and… gorgeous looks."

He was blushing pretty hard and Andy couldn't help but mouth "thank you" to him and watch him go 50 shades of red darker.

"Um… and because of your… both of your… impeccable work ethics you… both of you didn't act on those feelings. However working together was really hard because of all the… feelings. Being together in Paris, the city of Love only ignited the spark that had been there since day one and it all became too much. So Andy… Er… Andrea here decided to be strong for both of you and walk away to protect you, you life and reputation. So she quit and even threw her phone in the fountain to avoid further communication." Derek paused for a second as Miranda Priestly's voice filled the room once again:

"Now let me guess… Derek." Derek gulped - it was obviously he wasn't happy that La Priestly remembered his name. "Little did she know that I have decided to turn my whole life around in order to explore all those… feelings." From the tone of her voice it was quite obvious to Andy that Miranda didn't have any respect for the said feelings whatsoever. Not that there were any feelings to respect. "And asked my husband for the divorce in order to live happily ever after in our sweet little not-legal-yet gay marriage."

"R-right." Derek stammered once again, looking at Leslie for support. The head of PR sighed and chimed in:

"Well it's raw but that's about it."

Andy couldn't believe her ears. They were fucking serious. Four high-paid professionals in the room were contemplating THAT as a way out. For real. She opened her mouth to protest when an unknown sound filled the room. It was not unpleasant, on the contrary, it was quite melodic, however it was the most shocking experience of that day for Andy: Miranda Priestly was laughing.

And laughing.

And laughing.

"I'm sorry…" she managed to squeeze in, continuing to laugh.

Andy squeezed out a small scared smile, shooting a look at Leslie. Judging by the mortified expression on her face Miranda's laughter was ever worse them Miranda's fury.

"Miranda…" Leslie managed to get in after most of the laughter subsided.

"No." A single word was pronounced with such force that no one would have guessed that Miranda Priestly was laughing her head off a second ago.

Leslie threw her head back in mock despair and Andy suppressed a snort - she knew the woman would never had done that with Miranda in the room.

"Fine." the head of PR recovered quickly. "We could… work on it more."

"No." Miranda hissed once again. "I can only imagine what you'd come up with next - a happily ever after with the lousiest most irresponsible employee I've ever had the pleasure of enduring working with?"

" **You** endured working with me?" Andy asked incredulously, her question easily ignored by Miranda as she went on:

"The family pictures? Allowing that… person to walk my dog? To be in my house? To accompany me to events? Pretending that we are in a relationship?!"

"Hey, I've walked that beast plenty and I have been to your house!" Andy exclaimed, annoyed by the unfairness of it all.

"Oh, I remember, Andrea." Andy blushed instantly, knowing that stab was meant for that one time she went up the stairs. The memory made her uncomfortable to this day and she was once again grateful Miranda couldn't see her.

In the mean time Leslie eyes Andy suspiciously:

"Do you mean you don't mind working this angle Andrea?"

"What? No! It's ridiculous! As Miranda here… said." This was awkward. Miranda didn't really say anything, but Andy went on nonetheless. "But not because I'm unworthy of walking her elephant of a dog or enter her house or being her pretend girlfriend. Not that I want to walk the… Patricia of be the… girlfriend. What I mean is…"

"It's a Saint Bernard, Andrea. Please add the breed name to your vocabulary, the scarceness of your language is staggering and quite shameful for an aspiring journalist I must say." Andy gripped her armrest tighter:

"Really, Miranda? That's what you got out of it?"

Miranda never dignified that with an answer. Instead, she turned her attention back to Leslie:

"Leslie? 3 minutes left."

"Ok. Um…" Leslie ran her fingers through her hair and Andy felt sympathy for her at once. She knew how terrifying it was to be put on the spot by Miranda Priestly, especially when you had no answer. So she was extremely grateful when Katrina spoke up.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Chapter 4, in which Andy is not so grateful Katrina spoke up.


	4. In which it gets worse again. (Yes, it is possible).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Thank you so much everyone for the wonderful reviews! Especially the people who took their time to say what parts they liked best).
> 
> Welcome to chapter 4.

"It could be unrequited." Katrina's voice was unsure, but Leslie urged her to continue:

"Go on, Katrina."

"I mean it could be all Andrea. Having a crush on one' boss in not unusual - so we could just boil it down to the assistant falling in love with Miranda and confessing her feelings in the car. When Miranda didn't return them… obviously… and told Andrea that it would never happen, Andrea was so devastated she had to get away. So she did the fountain run." Katrina raised her eyebrows at her boss and judging by a triumphant look on Leslie's face she had hit the jackpot.

"Genius. That way it is good for your public image - the Ice Queen turns into somebody who a sweet girl like Andrea here falls in love with - it's amazing! It's sexy, it will draw attention, it tells a story pf the person behind your Runway persona. And Miranda, you don't have to do anything. Just be your ever-gracious self and enjoy all the attention."

There was another pause with Andy shooting indignant looks at everyone around her when Miranda answered:

"That is acceptable."

At that point Andy had had enough.

"No, Miranda, that's not acceptable! Not only am I gay to the whole world, now I get to be the pathetic loser harbouring a secret crush on you, the godlike Miranda Priestly! How generous an offer is that, I bet a million girls would kill for it! Respectfully, I decline."

"Godlike. I like it!" Leslie exclaimed, " Derek, write it down, we'll use it later in the announcement."

"Are you people completely insane?!" Andy all but screamed when she realised no one was answering her. "Miranda? Miranda?"

Now that was embarrassing. Andy wondered when exactly her ex-boss had hung up - before her outburst or after.

"Calm down, Andrea, trust me, this is the best course of action here." Leslie shut her notebook, ready to leave the room.

"Trust you? Are you kidding me? Half an hour ago you said and I quote: "you Andrea will be included in the decision-making process and you will have our help". Right now I would like to use that decision making power I supposedly have to say that I will absolutely not do this."

"What would you rather say to the press Andrea? The tale of how you were tired and overworked and pissed off at your boss so that you quit during a business trip, moreover during the most crucial week of the year?" Leslie was looking at her expectantly and Andy knew this was a trap, but decided to try and walk into it. Anything was better then the offer on the table.

"Yeah, ok, that sounds unprofessional. I mean it' way… way irresponsible. But I'd rather say that, yes."

"You do realise you will never work again in this city after that, don't you? With that reputation and possibly blacklisted my Miranda your brightest occupation prospect will be Starbucks down the street."

"Awesome, and I… didn't think about that." Andy let out a defensive sigh. "Saying I was temporary crazy and all better now will not work either?"

"Starbucks." Leslie said, tilting her head and Andy let out a frustrated groan.

"What if I say Miranda was so horrible that no human being on earth could ever handle working with her. I have examples!"

"Courtroom for the breach of NDA, then Starbucks. Although the perk here would be to make some publicity on the controversy of Emily being an alien."

"Is this whole thing funny to you? You are obviously enjoying this!" Andy dropped her head on her hands. "Shit! Shit! Shit!" she muttered to herself, wondering how on earth she got herself into this whole mess.

"It's not that bad, you know." Hearing Katrina's voice sent her Andy over the edge.

"You! You don't get to say anything anymore! This is all your fault." Andy seethed at the girl, but Katrina only shrugged nonchalantly.

"Well, technically it is all your fault, but hey, you're welcome to blame the people who are trying to help."

"How is this sabotage called trying to help? I mean I get what Miranda gets out of this - this is such a great agreement we came to here! She gets to sit back and relax while I get to be the laughing stock of Manhattan, confessing my crush on her. I am the pitiful assistant while she is the ever-enticing mystery wrapped up in an enigma, inspiring awe and affection. Awesome deal, thanks for your help."

"Derek!" Leslie motioned once again, met with his "I'm getting this down."

At this point Andy was so angry she couldn't even say much. She looked around the room incredulously, but no one seemed to be taking her seriously.

"Listen," Katrina turned to her and continued softly. "I get it, this obviously doesn't look too… promising. But we can work on that."

"Work on what exactly?" Andy sounded defeated and she knew it. The worst thing was that she began to grasp both the fact that the idea was the best option for her and the enormity of the craziness of the whole situation and the future ahead of her at this point.

"The part where you get something out of it too of course. Right now you're seeing yourself humiliated and it's understandable, but we could come up with another angle."

"Oh, so you somehow know an angle where having the whole world know about your crush on someone who it is impossible to imagine will even spare you a second look is not humiliating?"

Katrina drew in a breath to respond when Leslie cut her off:

"Andrea, we could work around it. You know - you're quite outspoken for an assistant. That could do us good with the press - I bet they will love your… style. What is your dream job, please remind me?"

"Journalism." At this point Andy didn't bother to be too polite, those people were sharks. She felt she should have never called Emily. She should have boarded the plane and go home and let Miranda and her PR handle the Paris lesbian crisis by themselves.

"Ok. So you get to be in the spotlight. Imagine how many newspaper, magazines and websites will be interested in you after this! You can build your whole career on this surge of fame. It's an opportunity and whether to grab it and make use of it or waste it - is your choice "

"Yeah, the thing is I would like my talent to be the basis of my career, not some fake drama on Page 6."

Katrina snorted at this and Leslie shot the brunette a stern glare.

"You gotta work with what you got Andrea. And right now the gist is that this is it. I'm afraid I have another meeting to attend - we will schedule an interview for you tomorrow - Derek will send you the outline of your story."

"Can I at least work on the story of my own moral demise myself?" Andy cursed internally - having asked that question she sealed her own fate and Leslie's predatory smile only confirmed that.

"If you wish" the curly woman purred.

"It's not like I have a job or anything." Andy retorted, hoping that this fight was not over. She was sure that once she got home, had some whiskey and time to think she would be able to come up with a plan. A normal plan that is.

"Great, settled then. When you have the outline send it to me for approval" Leslie beamed, sliding her business card over the table for aNdy to take it. Andy could have killed the woman at this point. Instead she took the card.

"Awesome." the huge smile on Andy's face was as fake as this whole industry as she walked out of the room.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up: Chapter 5 in which Andy gets more then she ever bargained for.


	5. In which whiskey actually helps… Kind of.

“You are my only friend, you know that?” Andy smiled sincerely at the glass of whiskey in her hand. “Like seriously, how did my life get this fucked up? No boyfriend, no job, no money and coming up: no self-respect. Just you and me buddy.” She took another sip and sighed. It was time to call her mom.

Half an hour later she was staring at her mom’s bewildered face on Skype. Needless to say, that face was not impressed by the story. However it was the turn that their conversation took that took Andy by surprise.

“But honey, what did you expect?” Her mom shook her head angrily. “I never thought I would say this, but I am so disappointed in you… You should be grateful the PR are working with you and not throwing you under the bus here.”

“I’m sorry, they are not throwing me under the bus?  Didn’t you hear what I said? Mom, that’s precisely what they are doing!”

“It sounds like they are being unnecessarily kind to you to me. Just trying to imagine how much trouble you caused…”

“Mom!” Andy couldn’t believe her ears and her mother’s solemn expression. “Come on! Wasn’t it you who hated like literally hated my choice of a job, wasn’t it you who said it was and i quote “a colossal waste of my time and talent”? Wasn’t it you who said Miranda was taking over my life? And now you of all people are turning on me? Now that’s rich.” Another big gulp of whiskey burned it’s way down her throat.

“Of course, honey. That job was a colossal waste of your talent because your job was fetching coffee and catering to that woman’s whims. That job was a colossal waste of your time because you were busy 24/7 which is not surprising giving that this woman is a high-flyer with a crazy life and being her PA meant sharing that life. I didn’t raise you to be an assistant, Andy, you are so much more then that.”

“Thank you. Finally.” Andy stated with relief, before her mother continued in a serious tone:

“But I never raised you to be a hysterical quitter either. That job was not for you and you should have never taken it in the first place. But this? Storming out during an important event? Causing a scene big enough to hit the papers? This is so not you. This is childish and unprofessional and…”

“You weren’t there!” Andy found herself half-screaming at the monitor. “You don’t know the full story! You don’t know how horrible she is to everyone! To people who care about her! To people who trust her! She is evil, mom! And she was just sitting there telling me I was just like her. And i realised she could be right! I was becoming like her, I needed to get out!”

Her mother sighed in defeat:

“I understand it must have been overwhelming, but darling, it’s a big game she’s a part of, it’s a game of sharks and the weak get eaten up really fast. That’s why me and dad we kept telling you it wasn’t your place, that magazine, that job.”

“I know.” Andy sobbed, her head falling into her hands. “What do I do now, mom?”

“I say you go with it.”

“Go with what?”

“The angle the PR is suggesting”

It took a second for her mom’s words to register with her brain, but then Andy’s head shot right back up.

“Are you kidding me? You… I’m sorry, you of all people want me to admit having a lesbian crush on my bitch of a boss to the whole world?”

“You should probably restrain from calling her a bitch while you’re at it.”

“This is a prank, right?” Andy guessed. “You and dad made another one of your stupid bets to drive me nuts and guess what? You win! Tell him to give you your well-deserved 10 bucks or something. Now. What do I do for real?”

“Your father has not heard about this, Andy. And I am serious. Don’t think I’m happy about this, I can only imagine granny’s reaction…”

“Oh no…” Andy stared at the monitor wide-eyed as her mom went on:

“But I’ll try to explain this to her. Meanwhile I really think it would be better for you to do as they say. Or you could always come home and work at the local paper, I’m sure your dad could talk to the editor.”

“You. Are. Serious.” Andy realised she had run out of whiskey. She wished it was her biggest problem right now.

“I am. Andy, darling, I am your mother. I know what you were going through at that job and I believe you when you say how terrible Miranda is. I mean I understand you completely! But all those other people they don’t know you and they don't know the details and it’s just going to be your word against a whole corporation.”

“I know.” Andy sighed. “And I can’t really disclose any details because of the NDA.”

“Exactly. So it’s either you agree to their plan or they make you a laughing stock of Manhattan. At least you will be able to get a job after this.” Her mom pleaded, concern evident in her features.

But Andy was not listening anymore.

“Exactly.” She whispered to herself, lost in thought as an idea that crossed her mind seconds earlier shone bright like a diamond.

“Andy?” Her mom’s voice broke her reverie and Andy smiled widely for the first time in days.

“Exactly! You see, it’s the NDA that prohibits me from telling the whole world how bad Miranda is. If I can get rid of the NDA, I can tell my side of the story, like my actual, non-runway-edited version of a life as Miranda’s slave and when I do, not only will I earn my self-respect back, but I will also be able to work in the city again. Without anyone thinking I am a pathetic love-crushed lesbian.” And was pacing around the room, her eyes shining with enthusiasm that her mom didn’t seem to share.

“And how would you carry out that badass, but slightly evil plan, honey?”

“First: I can’t believe you used the word “badass”. And second: I am going to get the NDA annulled by pretending to agree to go with their story. Like how can I talk about my feelings for Miranda and how I fell head over heels for her if I can’t mention any details?”

“Andy, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

“How?” Andy fell onto the chair once again and stared her mom down. “How is this not a good idea if this is a) me being honest with the world and b) saves me from all the freaking circus they want me to take part in?”

“It’s not a good idea because it’s not who you are, Andy. You are not this person…”

“You mean I’m not shark enough to play with the big boys and girls?” Andy huffed angrily.

“That’s not what I said!”

“Yeah? Well it sounded like that to me. Ten minutes ago you were taking Miranda’s side over mine and telling me how much trouble I caused them. What about me? What about the year of my life I lost for that woman? What about the fact that now they want me to willingly destroy my reputation? I am going to fight back and I am going to be beadass at it!”

“Honey…” her mom pleaded, but Andy was on fire:

“Say hi to granny. And to dad.” Andy hung up viciously, closing her laptop. A minute later she opened it once again and typed up an email to Leslie, a small crooked smile playing on her lips.

 _“Chocolate, I need chocolate.”_ She thought, having sent an email. When searching through her fridge and kitchen drawers proved useless, she put on a grey hoodie and headed off to the nearest supermarket.

As she opened the door to the street, the flashes blinded her immediately. About five journalists were still camped out there, all of them jumping to their feet at the sight of her.

“Any comments on your relationship with Miranda Priestly?” A tall blond men asked her and Andy, high on whiskey and endorphins, flashed him her best smile.

“You do know waiting under my door is creepy, don’t you?” She winked coquettishly.

“People say Mrs Priestly is an ice queen, devoid of emotions, beautiful like a diamond, but sharp and cold as one. Is it true you have fallen in love with her? What did you find so attractive?” A small brunette chimed in, noting Andy’s willingness to talk.

 “Trust me, there are so many things about Miranda I would like the whole world to know.” Andy smiled to the camera once again. “but right now I am on my way to the supermarket, so if you excuse me…” She manoeuvred her way between the reporters and strolled down the street all but singing happily to herself. Her plan was brilliant and it was so going to work.


End file.
